Caring is Hard.

Today on Seth Godin’s blog, he makes an interesting observation about how caring about your product and your customers can make all the difference in your bottom line and give you a competitive advantage, because it's something a lot of companies don't do.

Like most things that are worth doing, it's not easy at first and the one who cares isn't going to get a standing ovation from those that are merely phoning it in. I think it's this lack of early positive feedback that makes caring in service businesses so rare.

I agree, Seth, and I’d like to go even further. What is it about caring that makes it so hard to do?

Caring is hard because it makes you vulnerable. Being vulnerable is scary and uncomfortable, and we humans don’t like that. Sometimes people don’t like something we’re proud of. When you care about the experience of your customer, and you’ve poured your heart and soul into something, it sucks when they aren’t happy. If we stay emotionally detached, we aren’t as adversely affected by negative feedback. It’s easier to blow it off, and not be hurt.

Caring is hard because it makes you accept responsibility. Sometimes bad things happen. Mistakes are made, things get screwed up. When we become emotional about our jobs, we take mistakes personally. It eats at us. We vow to get better, forgive ourselves, and move on. And most times we are able to do that... the end result being even better than before. But it’s not easy, and sometimes we just give up. It’s much easier to stay detached and shrug our shoulders when something goes wrong instead of taking it to heart.

Caring is hard because it takes energy and patience. I think this is especially true, as Seth said, if you’re the only one who seems to be passionate about what your organization does. It’s frustrating, draining and disheartening. Energy and patience are things that seem to be in limited supply in this human culture we’ve created for ourselves, and if you're already feeling tapped, spending them at the workplace may not be the choice you make.

Caring is hard because it takes attention. Another commodity that seems to be in limited supply is our attention. In a world where we are juggling hundreds of thoughts, tasks, and distractions, paying attention to the small details gets lost. And the small details are what add up to big details. It’s easy to let little things slide and allow our focus to become blurred on the urgent but not necessarily important.

Besides just the result on the company’s bottom line, caring is worth it because it enriches us personally. The sense of pride you feel when you know you’ve done a good job, when you’ve created something that wasn’t there the day before, when you’ve solved a problem that was particularly difficult... those are the things that make caring worth it. In short, when we care, and things are good, we feel good.

Although I’m relatively new to Engine Yard, I can say I’m thankful to work for a company who has no room for people who don’t care. The culture is to deliver beyond expectations, whatever that means for each individual’s role here, and we are given the support and space to do so. The result is an awesome place to work, and an awesome set of products. If you find yourself in an environment where people don't care about what they do, or each other, my advice to you is to get out now... while you still can.

In short, caring is hard, but so, so worth it. Better to have cared and lost than never to have cared at all.

Help My Dad Celebrate His 70th Birthday!

A few weeks ago on my PHP advent post, I mentioned some cool and useful things you can do with Twilio in two minutes. One of the things had to do with my dad's birthday, which is next week. I first opened this up to his friends and family, but then I thought, why not open it up to anyone who wants to chime in?

My dad, Bill, is awesome:

  • He still works full time as an engineering consultant
  • He takes care of my mom, who suffers from fibromyalgia and arthritis
  • He still takes time to throw the football with his grandson, and play Wii with his granddaughters
  • He *will* crush you at Battlefield 3, despite his deceiving KDR
  • He has a few patents in his name
  • Most importantly, he is always there to help neighbors, family and friends out of a jam. Always.

If you want to help me wish Bill a "Happy 70th Birthday," here's what you can do:

  1. Call toll-free 866-266-8038.
  2. Leave a message for him. Sing him a song, read him a poem, or simply wish him a happy birthday.
  3. Leave your message before Monday, Jan 2

I'll compile all the responses I get onto a CD, and give it to him on his birthday.

Thanks for helping make my dad's day great!

PHP Internals, Let's Chat About the Future!

Consider this a call to the PHP Internals team. We've been doing a series of panel discussions over at Engine Yard about PHP-related frameworks and where they are going in the future, but one important piece that's missing is the discussion about the future of the PHP core.

A few weeks ago, I approached Rasmus about this and we both came to the agreement that it would be very difficult to nail down core devs to a handful of people. The PHP core team is large and far-reaching. How do you decide who to ask to participate? The only solution is to open it up and include whoever wants to be included.

I didn't want to spam the internals list with this, so I'll just put it out here on my blog, and hopefully the word will spread. If you're a core PHP contributor and you want to voice your opinion in a friendly panel discussion about where you'd like to see PHP in 5 years, then I'd love to chat with you and include you in the discussion.

You can find me at enaramore at engine yard dot com, or my personal email at elizabeth at naramore dot net. Hope to hear from you!

s/SourceForge/EngineYard

Sometimes opportunities come along that you just can't pass up. Such as the case for me these days; I'll be leaving my job as Community Development Manager at SourceForge for a job at Engine Yard as the PHP Community Manager. As you might have heard, Engine Yard recently acquired Orchestra, and as such, is making a splash in the PHP space. (This is awesome on so many levels.) I am extremely lucky to be on Randall Thomas's team (@daksis for those who don't know him), whom I had the great pleasure of meeting in person last year at JRubyConf. Not only will I get to work with Randall, I will be working closely with the Orchestra team; a group of collective awesomeness. WOOT! I kind of feel like I'm "coming home" to my PHP community, and that makes me really happy. And not just the "Hey, I didn't spill anything on myself today" kind of happy, but the "I need to high five the shit out of someone" kind of happy. You've all been warned.

I've greatly enjoyed working with the folks at Geeknet, and have met some *very* smart people along the way. Incidentally, they are now in need of a "Community Growth Hacker" for SourceForge, so if this sounds like something that might be of interest to you, by all means, let them know! They are a terrific group of people.

I will say goodbye to Geeknet on October 9, hello to Engine Yard on October 17, and in between, I'll spend some time at Brooklyn Beta. You'll also see my smiling face at PHPNW, and probably ZendCon, so I hope to get a chance to chat with you. I want to hear what's new with *you*!

The Ide(a)s of March

Thanks to a kick in the ass from my buddy Chris Shiflett, I will be blogging more in March (and likely beyond). He brings up great points about how the shift in social interaction (through outlets like Twitter) has had a detrimental effect on blogs. Case in point: for those who have been in my Technical Writing 101 talks at various conferences, you know I'm a huge proponent of taking the time to share your knowledge with the world. And yet the last time I blogged was back in July of 2010. Shameful!

Blogs do have an important place on the web.

  • They allow you to express yourself in >140 chars.
  • They act as an archive for useful information for yourself and others.
  • They spur conversation that can be followed by an infinite subset.
  • They force us as writers to actually think about what we're writing, making us all better communicators.

Unlike writing a tweet, or changing your status on Facebook, writing a blog post takes time. But it's time well spent, and I highly encourage you all to take part in the Ideas of March.

Only you can share what you know, and it's your obligation to share that with the world. Don't take that shit to the grave!

If you want some tips on writing, or where to get ideas for blog posts, check out the slides from my Technical Writing 101 talk. In fact, I smell a blog post about this coming on.

Don't worry, I won't be giving up microblogging altogether; you can still see me on Identi.ca and Twitter (for now). After all, I do still need a place to tell you guys that I'm drinking a really great beer or that I'm pissed off that it's snowing in March.

Now, stop reading and start blogging!

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